I Am This Murim’s Crazy Bitch

Sang Anjin, the Escort Leader of the Kunpeng Escort Group, was stunned.

What on earth are this woman’s social skills?

In the blink of an eye, she had become friends with the eldest son of the Hebei Peng Clan.

At first glance, she seemed sloppy, but it was an astonishing talent.

On top of that, she was an expert at the late-stage Peak Realm!

The world beneath Heaven was vast, and it was home to countless eccentrics who lived however they pleased. So it was not particularly strange for a Master like her to remain unknown.

However, Sang Anjin was an Escort Leader, one of the pillars of the Escort Group.

If an Escort Leader simply thought, Ah, the Central Plains truly are full of strange people, and moved on, he would have no excuse even if he were dismissed on the spot.

After all, there were many pillars. The Escort Group would not collapse just because one of them was gone.

Connections! He could smell the scent of networking.

Young experts were precious.

In fact, the ‘young’ part was more important than the ‘expert’ part.

Moreover, she was still an unknown wanderer.

In some ways, that made her even more valuable than the eldest son of the Peng Clan.

The Peng Family’s eldest son already possessed more than enough strong connections.

The Kunpeng Escort Group was large enough to stretch across two provinces, but that still did not mean it could stand on equal footing with the Peng Clan, which held a status in Hebei comparable to royalty.

No matter how generously Sang Anjin treated Peng Daesan, the best he could hope for was to come out even.

After all, it was only natural for someone from the Peng Family to receive special treatment.

A-Qing, however, was different.

Just look at how thin and starving she was! Look at the way she wolfed down the food until her stomach seemed ready to burst!

It only made it clearer that she had grown up with very little.

“It looks like you enjoy the pork slices. Hey, over here!”

“Ah, you really don’t have to order more. I’m fine…”

“What are you saying? Of course you should eat more. Bring us more pork slices! Plenty of them!”

“No, there’s really no need to trouble yourself……”

A-Qing’s voice faded, caught between gratitude and embarrassment.

As someone from the Eastern Land of Courtesy, A-Qing could not help feeling pressured by Sang Anjin’s excessive care, especially since he was older than her.

Had he been some old man overflowing with Evil Karma, she could have cursed him out without the slightest hesitation.

But when faced with a kind elder, it was difficult to resist the instinct to respect one’s seniors, an instinct practically engraved into her blood.

“Three plates, huh? You really have no shame. Well, I suppose that much was expected.”

“What did you say, you brat? Are you trying to pick a fight with me?”

“Was it that good? You emptied the plate twice.”

“If there’s food, eating it isn’t a loss, you know?”

Peng Daesan let out a deep sigh.

Her shamelessness was one thing, and yes, she certainly was shameless, but her lack of common sense was the greater issue.

Then again, considering the state she was in, how many chances could she have had to be treated properly by someone?

“Leaving a plate completely empty is considered rude.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s impolite to wipe a plate clean as if you were licking it. At the very least, you should leave a few pieces behind.”

A-Qing failed to understand.

“Leave food behind?”

“It’s rude if I don’t?”

“You didn’t know?”

“Why would I leave precious food behind?”

Why eat? Why sleep? Why breathe? Her words carried that same violent sort of disbelief, as though the question itself was absurd beyond measure.

Peng Daesan clicked his tongue.

“Tsk. Listen carefully. An empty plate at the table is an embarrassment to the host.”

“Like how a scar on the back is an embarrassment to a swordsman?”
“……? Where did that come from? ……Actually, that does make sense.”

The only thing a guest was allowed to empty completely was a cup of alcohol.

As for the food, a small amount was supposed to be left behind.

An empty plate lowered the dignity of the person who had provided the meal.

It did not matter whether they were poor, stingy, or simply lacking in means. In the end, it suggested that they had failed to properly entertain their guest.

And if a guest emptied the same plate twice?

Your hospitality was lacking today, so this was the only dish worth eating. Hahaha.

That was the meaning it carried.

A-Qing’s eyes widened.

“Escort Captain, I didn’t know and made a mistake…”

“Haha, it’s all right!”

Sang Anjin had already noticed A-Qing’s ignorance.

It is said that an act done out of ignorance is not rude.

What was rude was knowing and still refusing to act properly.

“So I should leave some food behind, no matter what it is? Always?”

“If it is just an ordinary meal, it does not matter. But when someone is treating you, it is better to leave the last two pieces.”

“Ohhh. I didn’t know that.”

“Then what exactly do you know?”

A-Qing was slowly undergoing the process of becoming civilized.

In truth, this was exactly why living in a different cultural sphere was so difficult. There were too many things treated as common sense that outsiders simply had no way of knowing.

In any case, it was a valuable realization for A-Qing.

When someone treats you to a meal, leave a little food behind.

It was certainly a precious lesson if she wanted to keep being treated in the future.

Take one step back now to gain more in the long run.

To be honest, she had already eaten plenty anyway.

A-Qing had already accepted as common sense that it was only natural for a Master to be served.

Unbeknownst to her, however, Escort Leader Sang’s expenses had already shot up because of the meal costs.

Even Peng Daesan was unaware of this fact.

To him, being entertained by others was as natural as breathing. After all, he was the eldest son of the Peng Family.

The circumstances of a mere escort convoy were not something he needed to concern himself with.

Even so, Sang Anjin was not exactly taking a loss.

It was not merely because he expected uncertain future returns from investing in a promising young female Master.

He was already making up for that loss through the convoy’s current operations.

After all, bandits from the wilderness had appeared!

“Stop right there!”

“Trouble. Master.”
A-Qing, who had been lazing on top of the lead carriage and soaking up the warm spring sunlight, drew her sword.
As Sword Threads blossomed, the bandits who had emerged with such imposing momentum began walking backward as naturally as if nothing had happened, then vanished from sight.

It was almost like watching time rewind.

In the Central Plains, the greatest expense in transportation was this so-called toll.

A-Qing had always thought the Central Plains had an absurd number of bandits.

But now, she realized that what she had seen before was only the tip of the iceberg.

A lone swordsman carrying a sword was not an appealing target for bandits.

There was no money to be made, yet they were dangerously risky people to touch.

In other words, not many bandits had bothered A-Qing.

Even then, she couldn’t help thinking, ‘Is this because it’s ancient China? Why are there damn bandits everywhere?’

But after joining the escort convoy, she finally learned the truth.

Every mountain had bandits.

Every valley had bandits too.

Even in secluded forests where people rarely set foot, there were bandits.

If Pang Dae-san had not told her not to attack unless the bandits gave her a reason, A-Qing would have cut her way through them, stacking up Righteous Karma and Practice Points along the way.

A-Qing came to a realization.

Traveling with a merchant caravan is comfortable and the food is great, but it’s a bit hard to slice up bad guys.

I really should see some blood at least once a week, though.

As expected, there was no perfect path in life. To gain one thing, you must give up another.

Still, since her body was comfortable and she was eating well, she didn’t particularly miss the bloodshed.

Now that she had obtained her goal, the Buddha’s Palm, she wasn’t even that hungry for Righteous Karma. Getting a thousand points was too much of a grind anyway.

And so, as A-Qing gradually grew lazier, the Escort Group’s carriage continued rolling toward Luoyang.
***

A-Qing knew that Luoyang was a city. She just figured it must be a big one.

After all, she had seen it mentioned in the ‘Romance of the Three Kingdoms’.

That said, despite how famous the novel was, she had only read it once.

Because of that, the only names she remembered were Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, and Zhuge Liang.

But the Luoyang she saw in person was magnificent and imposing, enough to impress even her modern sensibilities.

Luoyang was not called Luoyang Province for nothing.

Throughout its long history, Luoyang had served as an actual military fortress that had experienced countless real wars.

Its walls, taller than modern commercial buildings, stretched endlessly in both directions.

The wide-open gates were a scene of pure chaos, swallowing up and spewing out a dense flood of people and carriages.

To be honest, A-Qing had a habit of looking down on the civilization of the Central Plains.

In her eyes, they were only a step or two above primitive people.

As a modern Korean, such a view of ancient China was almost unavoidable.

After all, much of ancient China’s proud and magnificent legacy had been reduced to ashes by the communists, so modern Koreans had never heard of or seen any of it.

Especially the height of these walls!

She had thought she would never be overwhelmed by something as simple as height.

After all, she had lived in an age of skyscrapers, with buildings like the Eye of Sauron and that so-called Second Whatever in Seoul.

On top of that, the building density was incredible.

The buildings were packed so tightly together that neighboring buildings shared the same walls.

There was no such thing as an alleyway. The buildings stood packed together, continuing one after another without the slightest gap.

After they unpacked at the Luoyang branch of the Kunpeng Escort Group and shared a cup of tea with the Branch Manager, there was honestly nothing left to do.

“Hey, San.”

“I refuse.”

“What the… I haven’t even said anything yet.”

“You were going to ask me to go sightseeing around Luoyang, weren’t you?”

Annoyingly enough, he was right.

But A-Qing had a reason she could not retreat.

She had no money.

And conveniently, there was a very dependable source of funding standing right here.

“If you follow me obediently, there will be no bloodshed.”

Peng Daesan stared at her in disbelief.

Every now and then, despite her terrifying lack of knowledge, strangely refined and dignified words would come out of her mouth.

How?

“My Moonlight Sword is thirsty. If you do not wish to be offered as a sacrifice to the blood-red moon, guide me through Luoyang at once, human.”

“Right, about that. I’ve been wondering for a while now. Moonlight Sword, was it? Isn’t that just an ordinary iron sword?”

“It is only proper to give a name to a weapon you cherish.”

Peng Daesan frowned.

That was one of the most well-known teachings among martial artists.

Never name your weapon.

If a martial artist becomes too attached to their weapon, they might end up getting stabbed while trying to protect it.

However, after seeing how carelessly A-Qing handled that Moonlight Sword, Peng Daesan felt no real need to explain any of that to her.

The moment she started prodding the campfire with her Moonlight Sword No. 6, he could hardly believe his eyes.

Using a sword as a fire poker was something that made one question whether she was qualified to be a swordsman, regardless of whether she cherished it or treated it roughly.

“Putting that aside, why Moonlight Sword?”

“Because I’m an expert of the Moonlight Maiden Sword Art?”

“…?”

“Moonlight Maiden Sword Art. Moonlight Sword.”

“……?”

“You still don’t get it? Moonlight Maiden Sword. Moon Girl Sword. Moonlight Sword.”

“……Just stop talking.”

The Yue Maiden was simply a shortened way of saying a woman from the State of Yue.

And naturally, the State of Yue had nothing to do with the moon.

And of course, the State of Yue was not the moon.

How could a country’s name be Moon Country?

“Anyway, let’s go, San. Luoyang is waiting for us.”

“I said I’m not going.”

“I’ll keep bothering you until you go. Surrender.”

Peng Daesan’s brows twitched.

Her declaration had lightly prodded one of his weak points.

At first, she had seemed more like a master swordsman than a woman. Then she became something closer to an ignoramus. After that, she turned into a beggar-like existence. And now, she was almost like a friend.

But still…

The fact that she was clinging to him this much made him start to question her intentions.

Could it be… some sort of tactic? Was she trying to make him aware that she was, in fact, a woman?

It was an extreme case of delusional self-flattery.

Fortunately, the nonsense A-Qing blurted out without thinking immediately snuffed out the tiny spark of delusion her words had created.

“We’ll have dinner at Choseon Dining. Any objections?”

“You… Do you even know what kind of place that is…?”

“I heard it’s the finest place in Luoyang. I overheard the escort members talking about it.”

That much was true.

Choseon Dining was indeed the finest place in Luoyang.

After all, it was Luoyang’s greatest brothel.

“It’s expensive there. And you don’t have any money, do you?”

“What are friends for? When else in my life will I get to visit such a magnificent inn? Isn’t that right, San?”

It was an obvious scheme to make him pay for her.

So it was not seduction. She was simply trying to leech off him.

Instead, his mood turned strangely sour.

Why did that annoy him so much?

“Fine, I’ll be generous. Then, even if I can’t take you to Choseon Pavilion can we…”

“Fine.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“I said good. I’ll take you there. Choseon Pavilion.”

A-Qing blinked.

“Really? You said it’s expensive. San, are you serious? You’re a man with that much wealth?”

“You told me to take y— No, what do you mean, am I that rich? Are you seriously asking me that?”

“It was just a negotiation tactic, you know? Start with a big request, then lower it if they refuse.”

It was the kind of sharp insight that occasionally surfaced amid her usual ignorance.

This time, however, it struck particularly deep.

Peng Daesan quietly mulled over her words.

Mistaking his silence for hesitation, A-Qing gave him an awkward, apologetic smile.

“If it’s too much of a burden, forget it. I only mentioned it, you know? Just in case.”

Pang Dae-san’s eyebrows twitched again.
The comment about wealth, and now this. Could it be?

“Listen. Do you know which family I belong to?”

“You said Hebei Peng Clan? The Head Escort says it all the time.”

“Do you not know what that means?”

“You don’t have to brag about your family being well-off. Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your pride by saying it’s a burden. Don’t take it to heart.”

She had no idea what kind of clan the Peng Clan of Hebei was.

To her, it was simply another rich household.

Even ignorance had to have a limit, didn’t it?

A-Qing had probably only ever dealt with scoundrels or second-rate martial artists.

And those were the sort of people who would not even dare bring up the Five Noble Clans.

It made sense.

If you were caught talking behind the back of the Five Great Families, you’d lose an arm at the very least. And that was being generous.

“Choseon Dining is not much of a burden. Let’s go.”

It was true that it would not burden him much.

It was also true that his pride had been slightly bruised.

But more than anything, Peng Daesan’s agreement to accompany her was not born purely from kindness.

He had his own reasons for not wanting to go outside.

And he was also curious to see how A-Qing would react to a brothel.

Just as the excited A-Qing, unaware of his thoughts, rushed out the door—

She found herself face-to-face with an enormous crowd of Luoyang beauties.

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