I Am This Murim’s Crazy Bitch

The beauty standards in the Central Plains were not so different from those of the modern era.

Fair skin and a generous bosom.

A slim waist and a light, delicate frame.

Long black hair.

Clear eyes where the black and white stood out distinctly.

Red lips and white teeth.

Among all these traits, some mattered more than others. The most important was having a small, slender figure.

In modern terms, it was an almost fanatical preference for slim women.

And not just thin, but short as well.

However, that did not mean a woman could be flat-chested.

They needed full breasts.

And there was an ideal size for that as well.

About the size of two adult male fists.

Anything beyond that was considered vulgar, the sort of trait more suited to a concubine than a proper wife.

As a result, men often spent more time with their concubines. It was a society where they could not even openly praise the things they truly liked.

In the end, a beauty in the Central Plains was no different from a beauty in the modern world.

Or rather, it would be more accurate to say that modern beauty standards already contained the beauty standards of the Central Plains.

Then the Most Handsome Man Under Heaven, the Jade Qilin, arrived in Luoyang.

Those who saw his face, which was said to be as flawless as jade, quickly spread the news.

“I saw him. Did you see him? I saw him too.”

The most eligible bachelor in the Central Plains had come to Luoyang.

Naturally, all the beauties of Luoyang gathered in one place.

And what those beauties saw was…

A cheap-looking, underdeveloped, whore-like girl daring to flirt with the noble Jade Qilin.

***

A-Qing had created her character exactly as recommended in the post.

In Murim Chronicles: A character’s stats increased as they became familiar with martial arts. On top of that, any martial art in the game could be learned.

Because of this, initial stats became meaningless once the game reached its later stages.

So A-Qing removed all her Appearance points and poured everything into Stamina and Strength. The build was designed to make the early game easier.

As a result, when A-Qing first appeared in Murim, she was quite literally the Ugliest Woman Under Heaven.

However, as she learned and mastered martial arts from the Fairy Arts subclass, her Appearance stat rose significantly.

The three types of Yue Maiden: True Form Origin were part of the Fairy Arts. As they were Purple Martial Arts, they provided a substantial stat boost.

So now, A-Qing was no longer ugly.

But that did not mean she was especially beautiful either.

She was simply average.

Yet there she was, standing right beside the Jade Qilin.

The contrast between them was so severe that it was practically the living embodiment of the Relative Squid Theory.

Even the cheap robes she had bought purely for their cost-effectiveness only made that theory seem even more convincing.

Hostile gazes poured toward her all at once.

However, A-Qing’s true self was a lone gamer working in production.

She had no particular complaints about that life.

If she had one wish, it was probably that all those born with silver spoons would just drop dead.

A single gamer working in production.

To her, romance was nothing more than exhausting emotional labour.

So even when beautifully dressed young ladies glared at her with venom in their eyes, she could simply smile it off with the smoothness of someone who had grown used to such things.

She had enough money to live comfortably on her own, and enough hobbies to keep herself entertained. Marriage was never something she had seriously considered.

For this reason, A-Qing paid little attention to the hostile stares she received at the city gate.

Instead, she whistled at the sudden beauty contest unfolding before her.

Since she knew Luoyang was not some Land of the Amazons, she could at least understand why all these women had gathered here.

A-Qing nudged Peng Daesan in the side with her elbow.

“Ooooh, San. Looks like that face of yours is worth quite a lot, huh?”

“It is merely bothersome.”

“‘It is merely bothersome.’ Oooooh, look at our San! What a sick guy! So cool! A cold-hearted man! But you’d be warm to your woman, right? Kyah!”

 

A-Qing’s words struck a nerve with Peng Daesan in a strange, ambiguous way.

It was fine. He only needed to ignore it.

Normally, such words would have made him frown, but strangely enough, he did not feel offended.

Why was that?

Peng Daesan thought about it for a moment.

It was probably because A-Qing’s words and behavior felt like the friendly teasing and pranks exchanged between men.

In truth, men also admired handsome men.

Even if they thought, Damn, that bastard’s face is on a completely different level, the feeling behind it was usually just admiration.

The men they disliked were not the handsome ones.

The ones they hated were the types who drove Benzes in their early twenties, or arrogant silver-spoon business owners who strutted around as if they owned the world.

“Just now…”

“So, since we’re in Luoyang, we have to go somewhere! Where are the hottest spots? It’s still too early for dinner, right?”

Peng Daesan had been about to ask something, but A-Qing’s words slipped into that opening like a ghost and made him forget all about it.

It did not seem like an important question anyway, so he let it pass.

“…White Horse Temple. Or the Longmen Grottoes.”

“A temple and a cave, huh? Wouldn’t the cave be better?”

Peng Daesan looked at her with open disdain, as if she were truly pathetic.

“What? Why?”

“You are most likely the only person in the world who would refer to White Horse Temple and Longmen Grottoes as just a temple and a cave.”

“So? Isn’t it a temple? Isn’t it a cave?”

“Do not say that in Luoyang. The people here take insane pride in their city. Saying such things could make them draw their swords.”

Surprisingly, that was the truth.

“Can’t help it, then. Shall we go to the Longmen Grottoes?”

“…The Longmen Grottoes are far.”

“How far?”

“They are quite a distance beyond the Southern Gate.”

A-Qing also thought that sounded too far.

“But there doesn’t seem to be anything to see at the temple…”

“If there is nothing to see, then let us just go back.”

“Are you seriously going to be like this? Buddy, can’t you show a little more enthusiasm?”

“Such a thing never existed in me to begin with.”

“Let’s go. White Horse Temple. You ready, San?”

“…”

“Ugh, you never know how to go with the flow, do you? Ov vourse vot. Qvung.”

A-Qing lowered her voice behind him and imitated him.

Peng Daesan let out a deep sigh.

People had all kinds of travel styles, but they could generally be divided into a few types.

First, there were the planners.

These were the people who arranged every detail of the trip in advance and moved according to a set schedule.

The slightly flexible planners made the best travel companions, as they greatly improved the overall satisfaction of a trip.

However, there were also extreme planners with almost superhuman stamina, the kind who scheduled every ten minutes.

Those types had to be handled with caution. Traveling with them meant you might see and do a lot, but by the end of the trip, none of it would remain as a meaningful memory.

Then, there were the hermits.

For hermits, traveling simply meant not going to work and spending a few days somewhere far from home.

Their joy did not come from famous sights, interesting activities, or delicious food.

It came from not being at work and not being at home.

What hermits valued most was comfort.

If they felt even slightly tired, they would shut themselves inside their room.

Because of this, they often clashed with the wanderer types.

“Why did you even come here if you’re just going to do this?”

“I came to rest, not to suffer.”

Then, there were the wanderers.

They simply loved walking around and exploring.

They got along well with planners, but if they did not want to ruin their friendship with hermits, it was better to travel separately.

They ate well, enjoyed most things with enthusiasm, and threw themselves into the experience.

However, once they lost interest, their focus and motivation quickly faded, and they would immediately want to leave.

To them, sightseeing was almost like setting out on an adventurous journey.

Apart from these types, there were also the ultimate travel companions: the silver spoons. In other words, the rich.

There was also a type of person one probably should not travel with, but since they usually stuck to their own kind, ordinary people rarely had to deal with them anyway.

A-Qing was a wanderer.

More precisely, she belonged to the food-loving branch of wanderers.

Whenever she saw food, she would send longing glances toward Peng Daesan.

In other words, she was making sure to fully collect her so-called friendship fee.

From Peng Daesan’s point of view, the amount was pitifully small, barely even pocket change. Still, there was some satisfaction in feeding her. After all, it was fun to watch A-Qing enjoy whatever she ate so wholeheartedly.

However, A-Qing’s impression of White Horse Temple was somewhat vague.

To her, the White Horse Temple felt like a slightly redder Gyeongbokgung Palace.

She had neither the eye nor the interest to appreciate the essence of Buddhist art from that era, so the only thing that really caught her attention was the Qiyun Pagoda.

At least she enjoyed looking at the pagoda.

But, true to her nature as a wanderer, she soon lost interest.

When they came back outside, the timing was awkward. It was still too early to head straight to dinner.

Peng Daesan caught A-Qing just as she was about to start wandering around again and guided her into a teahouse.

One defining trait of silver-spoon types was that they solved everything with money while avoiding unnecessary trouble at all costs.

Peng Daesan was already tired after walking around for about an hour. So he decided that if he sat A-Qing down and kept feeding her something, anything, things might become a little easier.

And it worked.

He ordered a pile of snacks and seated A-Qing where she had a clear view of the street outside. Once she began eating and watching the people pass by, she finally quieted down.

Satisfied with the situation, Peng Daesan sank into thought.

The escort convoy would continue on to Yongseong, and about five days beyond that lay Mount Hua, Peng Daesan’s destination.

The Absolute Sword Wall of Mount Hua had been opened.

The reason people respected the Greatest Martial Emperor, the greatest figure of the previous generation, was because he had truly loved Murim.

Even his attack on the Imperial Palace had been a warning to the Imperial Family, who had been using Murim for their northern campaigns.

His affection for the Nine Sects had been especially remarkable.

Because of that, he personally left each of them one of his teachings. Of course, as always, the Greatest Martial Emperor’s methods were rather extreme.

With a single sword strike, he split a cliff and engraved six Sword Marks into it. They were a kind of Insight left behind by the Greatest Martial Emperor.

Only the Nine Sects received these teachings.

Neither the One Union nor the Five Noble Clans were included.

The Greatest Martial Emperor’s contempt for the Beggar’s Union was well known. Ironically, he considered them lower than actual beggars.

As for the Five Noble Clans, he simply had no interest in them.

He had only left behind a few words, saying that placing one’s family above the greater cause was not necessarily wrong.

The Greatest Martial Emperor’s Insights were shared amicably only among the Nine Sects and One Union.

The Greatest Martial Emperor had always been direct and outspoken.

If he had wanted his Insights to be made public, he would have said so plainly.

But he had not.

In other words, his stance could be interpreted as, “Do as you please.”

Under such circumstances, a letter was sent to the Noble Clans.

Its contents were roughly filled with talk of unity, a noble cause, and leading the next generation of Jianghu, before finally offering to open the Absolute Sword Wall to them.

From this, two things could be inferred.

Firstly, even if a peak-realm martial artist studied the insights on the Absolute Sword Wall, they would gain almost nothing from it.

That could be inferred from the fact that the number of known experts from Mount Hua was not much different from before.

Second, Mount Hua was now in serious need of help.

There was no such thing as a free lunch.

Anyone who wished to witness the Greatest Martial Emperor’s Insight would have to pay a price.

But what kind of price would that be?

Especially if the matter was serious enough to require aid not only from the Nine Sects, but also from the Murim Noble Clans.

Just as Peng Daesan continued racking his brain…

“San. Look at this for a second.”

Whenever A-Qing called him “San,” it usually meant she wanted something.

Peng Daesan was gradually beginning to understand the pattern behind her behavior.

A-Qing tapped the empty porcelain plate.

“What is it?”

“I remember someone once telling me that it’s rude to leave a plate empty, you see?”

She tapped the plate again, urging him.

Peng Daesan was reminded of Heukgu, the dog raised in his clan.

Heukgu was a lion-dog that reached up to Peng Daesan’s waist.

Whenever it was hungry, it would bring its bowl over and fiddle with it using its front paws.

Even though someone else was responsible for feeding it, that clever animal always came looking for him.

“You are quite shamelessly bold, aren’t you?”

“Friendship fee.”

A-Qing puffed out her chest with great confidence.

Her pointless confidence was just like Heukgu’s. It was the attitude of someone who fully expected Peng Daesan to feed her, as though it were only natural.

“But is illegal dumping popular in Luoyang these days?”

“That cannot be.”

“Then why are those things thrown all over the place like that?”

The street in front of the teahouse was a mess of blatant illegal dumping.

Colorful handkerchiefs, sachets, and occasionally even shoes or underwear decorated the stone pavement.

It was the very definition of pretty trash.

A-Qing looked at the scene in wonder.

So littering really was a unique traditional culture of the Chinese people, huh?!

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