Surviving game as a barbarian Episode 646
Coming Out(4)
Eyes like jade buttons. Skin as smooth and white as silk. Lips embroidered meticulously as if stitched with red silk thread.
“…….”
“…….”
It wasn’t even a high-quality doll crafted by a master artisan with sweat and time.
Just a cheap, mass-produced plush toy—the kind children from average households might have played with. The only sign that it was a “female” doll was the ribbon attached to the right side of its forehead.
“So… Baron Jandel… are you saying… you have romantic feelings for a doll?”
The moment Ragna cautiously asked, a rush of shame flooded me and blood shot to my head.
It felt as if my hair was falling out in real time.
‘…I want to die.’
How strange.
Even in the Goblin Forest, even in Ice Rock, no matter what hardships I faced, I’d never had thoughts like this.
“Y… yes.”
I nodded with difficulty, and another noble muttered in admiration, as if it all made sense now.
“No wonder! Even with so many women around him, there were never any rumors…!”
He seemed to genuinely believe that the reason I remained unmarried was because of this doll.
Well… fortunately there were only a few like him.
“Keep it down.”
The noble beside him scolded him to read the room.
This is why I didn’t bring a high-end doll.
If I had brought one that was stitched by hand by a true artisan, there would’ve been even more nobles reacting like that.
Ah, but of course, the most important thing now was the Marquis’s reaction.
“……”
I held the small doll tightly in one hand and turned my gaze toward the Marquis.
Like the other nobles, he had initially seemed stunned, but he had now regained his composure…
“In love with a doll…”
The Marquis, who had been alternating his gaze between the doll and me, muttered to himself.
“That sounds like you… very much like you.”
Him saying that loving a doll was “like me” wasn’t meant as praise for the sentiment itself. He likely meant that coming up with this kind of solution was typical of me.
‘…Now, how will he respond?’
Just as Duke Kealrunus and Marquis Tercerion had tossed their lines back and forth like reading from a script earlier—
Every statement here carried political calculation.
And my statement moments ago was no different.
It was a roundabout way of saying that I would remain single forever.
“Hmm……”
The question was whether it would work on the Marquis…
I waited silently for his answer in the quiet room. Finally, the Marquis, seeming to have sorted out his thoughts, gave his reply.
“Your confession of love for a doll was quite shocking and bewildering to me. However, I believe love takes many different forms for different people.”
“…So?”
“I will respect your choice.”
On the surface, that sounded very positive, but, as expected, the weightier words followed right after.
“You are not the sort to utter nonsense in a gathering of nobles who illuminate the nation’s future. I trust you understand the responsibility that comes with your words.”
In short, it meant he would hold me accountable if I didn’t keep the promise I just made.
“But since you’ve shown that much sincerity, it is only right that I, as an adult, support your choice.”
However, perhaps thinking it unwise to corner me completely, the Marquis proposed a compromise.
“But as the Chancellor of the kingdom, I request that you have children when the time comes. Not only for an heir to your house, but it would also be a great loss for this country for a talent like you to pass on without leaving descendants.”
When the time comes.
“I noticed there are some fine female warriors among your kind.”
He would permit me to have children by marrying one of my own kind.
To the Marquis’s proposal, I replied.
“…I’ll consider it.”
Although I said that, it essentially meant I agreed.
Well, wouldn’t it be ridiculous to just say OK here?
“Now, let us conclude this matter here……. Everyone, you have waited long. We will now proceed with the ninth agenda item.”
It seemed I had managed to get through it for now.
****
To be honest, I had never planned to make such a declaration of lifelong bachelorhood.
But the decision not to marry anyone. I did not make this choice out of fear of conflict with the Marquis.
You could say… I killed two birds with one stone.
Should I call it a coincidence?
I made my decision the moment I finished talking with Mr. Dragon.
‘What do I need marriage for…?’
Some might see it as a betrayal of the position I’ve built in this city and the people who follow me.
But so what?
Some might say I still have a long way to go to shed the aspects of my modern self.
But to me, at least, marriage is a sacred thing.
I cannot make a vow to spend a lifetime with someone when I don’t even know my own heart, and having children is even more unthinkable.
‘Especially since I don’t even know when I might die.’
Ah, of course, I didn’t make this decision based solely on emotional reasons.
I wanted to focus on survival.
Perhaps “marriage” could have been useful in that process, but after weighing the calculations over and over, my conclusion was clear:
The losses would outweigh the gains anyway.’
Marrying politically advantageous partners left and right might seem good on the surface, but it would inevitably create just as many enemies.
If I can receive help, it also means I’ll have obligations to help in return.
“Then with this, I conclude this meeting. Thank you all sincerely for taking the time to attend.”
As I was lost in these thoughts, the ninth agenda item was quickly wrapped up, and the royal council meeting ended.
And then…
‘Why is it reverse order this time?’
Instead of everyone leaving at once, we exited the hall one by one, starting from those seated closest to the head of the table.
With a two-minute interval between each.
‘…They really discriminate based on the weirdest things.’
After experiencing this kind of treatment, I started to feel the urge to raise my own rank in the royal assembly’s hierarchy, something I’d never cared about before.
Hmm, maybe it’s actually a well-designed tradition in that sense?
If even I feel the desire to climb ranks, how much more must those power-hungry monsters feel it?
Tap.
Soon, everyone was gone, and the hall was empty.
With that, everyone else had left the meeting hall. I felt a little sad for some reason, then got up and walked out too
Just as I was about to head home…
“…Wait a moment.”
Someone called me from behind.
“Rag……”
Hmm, It’s better to keep up appearances in case someone sees.
“You haven’t left yet?Countess Phefroc.”
“There’s no one around, so you can call me by my name as usual.”
“It’s still better to be careful about these things, Countess.”
“…….”
Yes, mistakes happen before you even notice. That’s why I kept calling Amelia ‘Emily’ as well.
“So… you were waiting for me?”
“Yes, I… had something to say.”
“What is it?”
“That doll from earlier.”
Ragna mentioned the doll with a somewhat displeased look in her eyes, then continued.
“Ah, of course, I don’t believe what you said earlier, so don’t worry. I almost misunderstood at first, but… Father… no, Marquis Tercerion told me. It seems I still lack a lot when it comes to political matters.”
“Anyway, what did you want to say?”
“Well……”
Ragna trailed off and hesitated for a long time before, just like when I came out, tightly shutting her eyes and speaking.
“Baron… do you dislike me?”
“What……?”
“I asked if you dislike me so much that you would go through such a humiliating experience to reject me.”
Uh…
I was a bit taken aback by the sudden question.
But to answer honestly…
“I think you’ve misunderstood something. I don’t dislike you at all.”
Of course, if she ever asked me to marry her, I could flatly say no.
But…
“The biggest reason I refused the marriage proposal was political.”
“Political…?”
“Yes. If we were to marry, do you think the other nobles would just sit still?”
The Marquis’s faction is already standing out prominently in the Raphdonian political scene.
And if I were to join in now?
Duke Kealunus’s group, the noble alliance led by the Kaislan family, and even the supposedly neutral house of Count Alminas wouldn’t just sit and watch.
They’d form alliances or take protective measures against us.
“We… could prevent that.” Ragna replied back
“Well, maybe you could. But I don’t want to get involved in those complicated interests and give myself a headache.”
“I see……”
“I take it you understand.”
“Yes. I understand. You mean you had no choice but to refuse because of my current status.”
Uh… well, I guess you could interpret it like that?
It feels a bit off in nuance, but strictly speaking, it’s not wrong…
“Then I’ll be going now. You must be tired as well, Bjorn Jandel—please get some rest.”
“Right. It was good to see you. Let’s meet again sometime.”
“Yes.”
With that, we exchanged a short farewell and went our separate ways.
Later, as I left the palace and headed toward the carriage stand—
“…Hm?”
Suddenly, I sensed someone’s presence. Looking down the alley, I saw a figure standing silently in the darkness. They seemed to be about 170 cm tall with a slim build.
They were wearing gloves on their hands and pressed a thick robe down over themselves so that no skin was visible from head to toe.
For a moment, I thought an assassin had been sent after me, but that made no sense.
This was the imperial capital, Karnon.
And what kind of lunatic would think they could accomplish anything by sending just a single assassin after me?
‘What the hell, in the middle of the night…’
They looked very suspicious, but thinking it had nothing to do with me, I was about to continue on my way when—
Click.
The mysterious figure stepped toward me, coming closer to the streetlight that illuminated the area.
And then—
Swish.
They pushed back the hood covering their face, forcing me to stop in my tracks.
A plain black mask.
But the shape, the curves, the aura radiating from the person—everything matched something burned into my memory.
‘…Black Mask.’
However, since I am neither the Lion Mask of the Community nor Lee Han-soo, I forced myself to keep a poker face and narrowed my eyes.
“What are you? An assassin?”
That was the most natural reaction I could come up with on the spot.
But at my question, the masked figure shook her head.
And then—
“Of course not.”
The response came in a strangely familiar female voice.
Slip.
The mask came off, and the stranger’s face was revealed.
Black hair. Black eyes.
And facial features and skin tone closer to an Asian.
“Harin Savy.”
No, to be precise, the evil spirit that had possessed Harin Savy’s body.
The Korean, Hyun-byeol Kang.
She looked at me and smiled silently.
Feeling a chill run down my spine, I asked, trying not to show it.
“What are you doing here? Did Ragna send you?”
“No?”
“Then why on earth…”
“Didn’t I already tell you? From now on, I’ll do as I please. And we’ll meet again outside.”
Of course, I knew Hyunbyeol had sent that note at the end. But I conducted myself in my usual manner for the time being.
“What exactly does that mean—”
—I was about to ask.
Right at that moment.
“Ah, though I didn’t know I’d have to wait this long back then.”
Hyun-byeol cut me off and, as if annoyed, took off the thick robe that had been covering her entire body.
And then…
“But at least I got to see you.”
She took another step closer, using her long legs.
‘No wonder she seemed taller than when I saw her last.’
Click.
“Bjorn Yandel.”
Click.
“No, Han-soo Oppa.”
How on earth did she figure it out?
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